8 Years

:Meet John Orr, My real Father:

I tried talking to him again, after 8 years of not having any communication, not seeing eachother, absolutely relationshipless. It was a really bad visit, although I look happy in this picture... its because I know it will be the last time I see my dad.

School is going alright. Just trying to get through it and keep my grades up, especially since I am working now. Very Exciting, and I am enjoying it. I have a busy busy schedule, I work mon thru friday 4-9, and saturdays 9-3. My only day off is on Sunday, and let me tell you... I LAY DOWN ALL DAY SUNDAYS! Haha, definitely am getting a taste of the Adult Lifestyle.

Lots of Love.

Winter has hit hard.

My neighborhood, full of snow. Haven't gotten this much snow since like '84. Ridiculous, especially since it snowed on freakin' Wednesday and my neighborhood STILL looks like this, and it isn't melting! I've fallen twice, and been injured twice, and I'm tired of it.

Snow week!

We got a foot of snow! Absolutely crazy for Palmdale. Enjoying it while it lasts, pictures up later.

& Happy 19th Birthday to Sam [12.17.08]

Goodbye Beautiful...

I miss my pink hair, so so so bad.

It's the simplest things in life that make you smile, that turn your day around completely. After school, I pulled up to Tracie's house to drop her off, she went to shut the door, and said "Goodbye Beautiful". Right when she shut the door, I smiled. My day had been so crazy, extreme mood swings, and nonstop rain, I just wasn't who I usually am. But just that simple compliment, gave me every reason to smile, and enjoy the rest of my night.
Here I am, copying photography notes, putting my photography notebook together, and just trying to get through the rest of the week. Its crazy to think that school is half way done, and I'll be an incoming senior as of May 2009. Although I will most likely be on Independent Study my senior year of High School, its amazing to see how quickly the years fly by, especially the last 4 years of school. I'm just glad that they're coming to an end. "Don't try to grow up quickly", honestly, I can't help it, and I'm excited as hell to get my life going.

I'll be there for you.

A lot like Love

Dean, Mom, Sam & I are home from Las Vegas, and I got to watch this movie while being there. AMAZING. Definitely recommend to anyone.

I don't feel too good today, its only 451pm and I'm exhausted. School tomorrow, yippieeeeeeeee ): Last week, atleast. Monday and Tuesday are regular days, the 3 others are finals and I'll be outta there by 12. Excited.

Nuh-Night.

Lets rewind.

Tracy Lee & Arielle Lee

sWhen I first met her, almost four years ago... I knew we'd become best friends, knew that we'd stay absolutely crazy, we were inseparable, and everyone thought we were sisters. She was the person I always looked up to, the one and only person that could make me smile in the worst situations. We never let eachother down, never broke eachother's hearts, told secrets and actually kept them. She was the closest thing to a sister. At the end of 10th grade, things happened, and they got in the way of our friendship. I missed her a ton, cried days & nights, didn't want to leave my bed, and rarely ate in a day. I was simply depressed and wasn't the same person, everything changed overnight. So how do you live your life feeling like somebody completely opposite of you... I found out... & had to found out the hard way. The friends, new things. I hated every bit of it.. because she wasn't holding my hand through it all.

I had to hold my head up, as tough as it was, and continue living. But day after day, I still felt empty. I tried talking to Arielle again, but I just felt like I was putting down my guard, and it wasn't right nor good for me. I had to figure out what I would do, especially if this were to ever happen to me again. I had to start from scratch, and build my way up the pyramid. But how do you live with knowing that you love the person so much, that you're almost willing to take anything, to just get them back, and make sure they never let you go? And mostly, never let them go?
After 9 months of not speaking, we're reuniting, and trying to get back together... trying to remember what is best for us, and reestablish what we had. Figure out if this is what we both want, and stick to it. Not let each other down, stick to our words, and mean everything we say. This friendship is exactly like building a brand new one... only recognizing this person's personality at an unbelievable amount.
I love you Arielle Lee S-B... Fo Eva Eva and Eva Eva.

Its crisp.

The weather is so spectacular. It seems like its different every single day, it feels the need to surprise me each and every morning. The nights are what kill me the most though, having trouble falling asleep because I am unable to get warm. Why is my vent not letting in any heat!!! This just so happens to still be a mystery... and has been for about 2 years.

I'm so happy my sister is back, even though she lives 15 minutes from me, I don't see her much. I wish she didn't have to leave Portland, Oregon... She loved it there, and shit, so did I. It's definitely been a roller coaster ride for her, but it looks like the ride is coming to an end, and she'll get off and be happy. I missed taking these sorts of pictures (sorry its shitty, webcam style), and cuddling and watching movies, going out and doing things.
She is pretty fucking special, and I love her to pieces. And we will go back to Oregon... its definitely a goal we will accomplish.



Christmas is only a few weeks away, and it's almost relieving that we aren't doing anything Christmas day. No tree, No music, Nothing special. We're sort of doing everything either early or late. Ugly Sweater Christmas Party on the 20th, Christmas Eve Dinner on the 24th, and Camping the 26th-29th. It might just be the first time that I'm not too excited about Christmas Break. Yeah, sleeping in is going to be great, but... what else? Nothing I can think of.

Reading Reading Reading. It's almost the only thing I do now'adays. I've read two books in two weeks, and I'm on my third one. Waiting to buy about 5 in a week or so. I missed it, a ton.

Not too long before school ends, and I'm hopping with joy.
My birthday is only 2 months away, and I can't wait (:
&& Not too long before I'll be in Beauty School.
Things seem to be going the way I like them to, yet... some things are getting in the way.